50. Connecting with others through your shared humanity featuring poetry by Erica Courdae
SUMMARY
The private pieces that we rarely share in public are integral to creating our whole multifaceted selves. What pursuits bring us joy when no one’s looking? How does sharing our genius affect us and those around us?
Joining India once again is her co-host, the co-founder of Pause On The Play The Community, and talented poet Erica Courdae for a poetry reading and a brief discussion about the soul of inspiration.
In this discussion:
Poetry by Erica Courdae
Honoring our vulnerability in private, in public
Letting inspiration be our guide
Acknowledging our humanity and witnessing it in others
QUOTED
India Jackson
“As I think back, I’m, like, 2019, I'd never felt more in my life up until that point deeply connected to the experiences of my ancestors and had never felt more like it was my opportunity to begin to undo some of the ancestral trauma and the ancestral pain and the...just different things that... and experiences, and then I wanted to see that as an opportunity and not as a burden anymore.”
Erica Courdae
“I see your shared humanity, and I'm here to remind you that it not only exists but that I hope that it reminds you to witness the humanity in someone else around you that needs that reminder as well.”
ARTICLE
A change of pace and a world premiere of sorts for this conversation. For FYF audiences who might not be aware, India’s co-host and co-founder of Pause On The Play The Community, Erica Courdae has been on a journey of self-expression for much of her life, writing poetry since she was 12 or13. India invites Erica to share that part of herself through a poem she wrote back in 2019.
“I don’t know which poem this is exactly.” India invites us to experience it for the first time along with her. She laughs, adding that the poem is about her. “So, it's going to be giving you some pieces of who I am or what I've experienced or been through.”
“I always find it interesting to hear how other people metabolize us,” Erica says before reading her poetry.
Willow trees hang low and swing in the breeze
They don’t see the tears hidden by the quick branches
But I know what’s there
And I don’t hate them
But their existence saddens you
And I want to hold you up
Because I know what is behind the straight face
And damp cheeks
A soul that invites in strangers on the honor system
And hopes for better days of a kinder reckoning
A heart that beats for solace and a moment of connection
Weathered and storm trodden
Yet beating stronger than ever
I know where tears come from
A place of anger and reluctance and boldness
Desire and deserving and resilience interwoven
Tears do not come when the fight is over
Tears come when the next round begins
And you fear the pain you will exert on your target
Those eyes do not know relinquishment
They will not settle for surrender in the shade
Those feet are not wary of the journey toward nirvana
Weariness comes from an uphill battle on consecrated ground that holds the blood of those before you
That no longer had wherewithal to fight
The opportunities taken by their opposition
And they are in awe of you
They will hold you up
They will cushion your steps
And kiss your blows with familiarity
They know this road
And while they could fight no more
They amplify your strength
I will corral this and feed it to you when you cannot eat
Your prize will be won my sister
You will crown yourself here soon
It’s a piece that even India hasn’t heard before. She asks Erica what it was like to debut the work.
“It's always a little bit like, ‘I just read that out loud! I just read that out loud!’” Erica says.
“Let's talk through that for a second though, because I think anyone [engaged with this conversation] feels the same way when they get on a podcast episode, feels the same way when they get on a stage and have to go out in a bikini or speak for their paid speaking engagement,” says India. “And, I'm so glad that you said that because it's important for them to know that even somebody who is as visible as you are and has a podcast episode released every week on Pause On The Play that, after that, you're like, ‘Oh my gosh! I just did that!’”
“Because it is me bearing a piece of my inside that doesn't regularly have the sun shine on it. Not because it's not worthy,” Erica clarifies, “but because it's not for the consumption of those that aren't worthy. And, so, when I choose to share, there is very much this unveiling, this almost, you know, nakedness that happens in the most beautiful of ways. But it is absolutely a reflection of these inner dialogues and thoughts and feelings that show up for me. And I am essentially putting them on a plate and reaching my arms out to serve them to you. And there is a huge amount of vulnerability in that.”
India shares Erica’s vulnerability. “I feel in similar ways because they know that your poem is about me. And you've witnessed so much of my life. We've been friends for so long, and you know honestly more about me than anybody else does––maybe even my therapist––so there's that piece of it, of like, this is coming from someone who’s seen me cry, who’s seen me figure out whether or not I'll ever be able to put my crown back on kind of things. And, yeah, there's a lot to that.”
India asks Erica about the inspiration for this work.
“Oh gosh, I think this was written back in, like, 2019,” Erica says. “It's hard to ever say what it is that sparks it because, sometimes I'll write things that are from a specific catalyst or moment, but very often it is kind of this conglomeration of just watching and feeling these things happen and finally, it just kind of spills its way out. And, the beautiful thing about it is that it does have some moments in it that can almost feel tragic if you kind of just look at the words at face value, and at the same time, it's so familiar that while I don't always share what I write, I appreciate that it can be so easy to see yourself in it. So, there could be people that might be like, ‘she could have wrote that for me!’ And I think when you're able to see yourself and your humanity in that way, it reminds you that the things that you experience or that you're witnessing others experience, while it is absolutely nuanced in their own vibes in that moment, that these are things that actually connect us because they're commonplace. And we don't always remember that about ourselves. It's that piece of shared humanity that too often is lost.”
India reflects on 2019 and what that year meant on her life’s journey. “I'd never felt more in my life up until that point deeply connected to the experiences of my ancestors and had never felt more like it was my opportunity to begin to undo some of the ancestral trauma and the ancestral pain and the...just different things that... and experiences, and then I wanted to see that as an opportunity and not as a burden anymore.”
“It takes a large amount of fortitude to shoulder actions and thought processes and ways of being that come along with dismantling,” Erica points out, adding, “and yet, in my opinion, it's harder to turn away from it. But, in the moment, what's the easiest thing to do? Deny it.”
India asks Erica to share one thought that she’d like to leave FYF audiences with from this conversation.
“I see your shared humanity, and I'm here to remind you that it not only exists but that I hope that it reminds you to witness the humanity in someone else around you that needs that reminder as well.”
CO-HOST CONTACT & BIO
www.pauseontheplay.com/community
Erica Courdae has dedicated her life to expanding how others interact with the world through powerful conversations. As an entrepreneur and certified coach, her work is focused on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), imperfect allyship, and imposter syndrome. This work has taken her into communities and onto national stages as a speaker and educator at noteworthy industry events like AltSummit, ShePodcasts Live, and Being Boss.
Erica is also the owner of an inclusive beauty salon, Silver Immersion, and the host of Pause on the Play, a podcast that features open dialogue on topics like company culture, visibility, and mindset. She lives in Maryland with her two children.
YOUR ACTIONS FOR THIS EPISODE
Engage with people navigating and exploring their genuine selves and applying that honesty to their own visibility. Live out loud as you’ve always intended––for your brand, your business, your life.
Join India Jackson and Erica Courdae at Dropping The Veil, their 3-day virtual event featuring a diverse panel of guests. Thursday, August 12 - Saturday, August 14. See what’s possible when you expose your multifaceted self to the light—details at pauseontheplay.com/events.
Let us know what you think about the conversation! Leave us a review at https://ratethispodcast.com/fire.