66. How Showing Up Less Can Be Good For Your Brand with Dr. Marcuetta Sims
More Isn’t More
When it comes to brand visibility, many people believe that more is better.
We get the story that you need to be on all of the platforms; you need to post consistently everywhere otherwise, you’re failing your brand.
But churning out content nonstop can leave you feeling exhausted, burned out, and like you’re never doing enough to show up. And not showing up can create feelings of guilt or fear of missing out on opportunities.
What if, instead of being on every platform, we set boundaries and showed up in fewer places, and it was actually essential to your brand being more effective and more successful.
Dr. Marcuetta Sims and India discuss why we need boundaries for our brand presence, the downsides of being visible all the time, and how to tune in and listen to what you need to thrive.
Listen on your favorite podcast player or keep reading to learn:
How setting boundaries in your brand can leave people wanting more
How boundaries became a buzzword
What constantly being “on” takes from us
How to tune in and set boundaries based on your values
A Person-Centered Perspective
Dr. Marcuetta Sims is a licensed psychologist, yoga and meditation teacher, and the CEO and Founder of the Worth, Wisdom, and Wellness Center in Atlanta, GA. She is EMDR trained and a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional.
Foundationally, she approaches therapy from a person-centered perspective, filtered through multicultural, social justice, and empowerment lenses, and believes in a holistic model of treatment. She specializes in helping Black women heal from trauma, develop a healthier sense of self, and enhance their overall wellness.
Boundaries Don’t Make You Bad
On the Flaunt Your Fire® podcast, Dr. Marcuetta Sims says that we are constantly getting messages about what we are supposed to be doing for our brands and businesses on social media and that “the only way you can be successful in these spaces is by not having any boundaries.”
The myth goes that if you do have boundaries, you’re a bad business owner, or even that there’s something wrong with you as a person for setting boundaries around yourself and your brand.
But, she argues, “It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make you a bad business owner. It doesn’t mean that your business is not going to be successful if you have boundaries in your professional brand.”
She says if “we put these parameters around what it is that we’re willing to divulge within our brand…it’s actually going to keep people more interested in what it is that you’re presenting.”
Why Boundaries is a Buzzword
Because “boundaries” has become something of a buzzword, India asks Dr. Sims what it is about this moment that is putting this at the top of so many people’s minds right now.
Dr. Sims says that it’s coming up more as we have more open conversations about mental health in general, and as we’re realizing the negative impacts of being “on” all the time.
“When you feel obligated to always be showing up, your anxiety is likely a lot higher. When you are comparing yourself to highlight reels on social media, you’re probably feeling depressed.”
She says as we’ve begun to normalize discussing mental health, we’ve also gotten more honest about the impact of social media, and “that the root of it really is about setting boundaries.”
She continues that within those discussions, “We’re having this push around prioritizing yourself and around taking care of yourself. And in that push, we’re seeing the language around boundaries come up a lot more frequently.”
What We Lose By Being On All the Time
India says that she has felt the pressure to hustle and be visible at all times in her own work when she was first starting out and, “It can really hone in on this idea that you can’t say no because of what happens if you don’t show up, or will the opportunities still come?”
Dr. Sims says that the mindset of hustle is also embedded in the culture that many people grew up in, both in terms of class and racial and ethnic backgrounds, and that mentality “has severely impacted our ability to show up in this entrepreneurial space. And then you layer that on top of this pressure to perform and this pressure to be on all the time.”
And the downside of those messages layered on each other is losing parts of yourself.
“You may lose the other priorities that you have in your life. You may lose energy; you may lose sleep; you may lose health.”
Stepping back from being on all the time is hard, she says, because you may actually be seeing tangible results, but that kind of “showing up and being visible starts to deteriorate our internal world and our other priorities.”
Slowing Down and Setting Limits
In order to step back and set boundaries, Dr. Sims says it’s important to understand that the boundaries may not be about other people.
“The boundaries that we set up are actually because we have no control over how other people respond to us. The only thing that we have control over is how we set boundaries for us.”
You can’t ask your Instagram followers to stop messaging you, but you can give yourself parameters around how and when you respond.
For Dr. Sims, that has meant slowing down and setting limits through yoga, meditation, and prayer. “You have to intentionally stop and pause and reflect on what is going on.”
Setting limits has meant that she isn’t on every platform, even if that means missing out on another potential audience. “I’m not doing things that extend beyond the capacity of what I have to be able to do. And I had to learn to accept that and be okay with [it].”
The mindset of needing to be in all of the spaces all of the time, she says, is also driven by not having faith or trust, “we’re trying to control every single thing that happens because we fear the uncertainty and the unknown.”
She recommends that people explore whether they need to set a boundary by asking how they feel when they show up in these spaces.
When it doesn’t feel good, it could be that you’re burned out, or it could be that showing up in that space or in that way is out of alignment with your values.
“[Make] sure that your values are leading you in what it is that you’re showing up for. And if you’re clear on your values, you’re going to be very clear around where it is and how it is that you need to be showing up.”
Boundaries are Selfish, and That’s Okay
The fear of failure or missing out on opportunities by not being constantly visible is strong, but Dr. Sims says to think of setting boundaries like pruning a plant so it can grow and bear more fruit.
“The losses that you might possibly experience will be minuscule in comparison to what you’re going to receive.”
She also notes that fear of criticism can drive us to not set boundaries because we’re afraid of being perceived as selfish.
“But the thing about it is that it’s not a bad thing. The being selfish part allows you to be so full and taken care of for you, that you can show up for your clients, you can show up for the people that you’re supposed to be showing up for.”
And, she says, “A lot of times when we are going into these spaces of building a brand, of building a business, of being visible, it brings up our own traumas, it brings up our own past histories.”
And those histories and challenges can create barriers between understanding that we need boundaries and being able to implement them.
That the work of setting boundaries is not always easy. “If there is deeper work that needs to be done so that you can be more confident in setting your boundaries, do that deeper work.”
Insight, Then Action
To start building your own boundaries for your brand, Dr. Sims says again to slow down and take inventory.
“The first step is to develop insight. So if you can sit down and just spend some time reflecting on where are those places that just don’t make you feel good in terms of your brand, in terms of your business.”
She says taking action from there can be very uncomfortable, and you may have to brace yourself for it, but as you continue to move forward, you’ll gain peace.
“There is going to be a peace that surpasses all understanding that comes when you practice setting boundaries.”
What Does Flaunting Her Fire Mean to Dr. Sims?
“Flaunting My Fire means being authentic and true to myself and honoring myself without seeking or expecting validation or approval from anyone else.”
Connect With Dr. Marcuetta Sims:
Resources:
Ready to Dive Deeper?:
Get support in envisioning how you want to show up for your people and what boundaries you need to set for your brand by joining Pause on the Play® the Community. Every month get access to Q&A with India Jackson and Erica Courdae, along with anytime community feedback and support, monthly workshops, and on-demand replays of previous workshops and masterclasses.