82. More Than Good Intentions: On Being a Conscious Disruptor with Brooke Monaghan

April 17, 2023 Flaunt Your Fire

Responsible Disruption

We might think of trends as things that come and go in the worlds of fashion and style, but trends impact the world of work and entrepreneurship as well.

Trends aren’t necessarily negative, but when we follow trends in any capacity without questioning them, it can take us down a path that we didn’t intend to be on. And following trends doesn’t just impact us, the way that we follow trends impacts our audience as well.

In a replay of a live conversation from within The Pause on the Play Community, Brooke Monaghan and India discuss what it means to consciously and intentionally challenge the status quo and how to be a responsible disruptor.

Listen on your favorite podcast player or keep reading to learn:

How being a disruptor is about more than calling out what you’re against
Why you need to be clear on who your audience really is when you’re challenging norms in your industry
Why staying in conversation with your community is a key aspect of responsible disruption
How intentionality and awareness of your audience will inform your content

Impact, Integrity, and Relationships

Brooke Monaghan is a trusted advisor to founders and leaders who value impact, integrity, and relationships and are on a mission to set things straight in their industry. In her work, she helps her clients build both their confidence and their business acumen as they navigate the unique challenges they face when daring to do things differently. She also hosts the podcast Transcend Your Dichotomy, a show about business ownership that challenges the self-sacrifice narrative.

Truly Disrupting the Status Quo

On the Flaunt your Fire® podcast, as part of a replay of a live discussion from The Pause on the Play® Community, Brooke Monaghan (she/her) says that it’s fairly common for things that were at one time considered alternative to become mainstream.

For how that happens, she says that “most people have had an experience where it’s become clear to them that the mainstream is not working,” and to begin questioning for whom the status quo does work.

But there can be a disconnect between labeling yourself a disruptor and calling out the status quo and offering actual challenges or alternatives to it. You can signal that you “get it” without opening yourself up to the criticism that comes with proposing a real challenge or something new.

“For people who really are challenging the status quo, you don’t really need to say those words that much for people to see that that’s what you’re doing…You just do it and you’re not as concerned with labeling yourself that way.”

Brooke says that she did have to spend a period of time processing whether or not her actions and words were lining up when it came to disrupting the status quo.

“I had kind of fallen into a group of business coaches and consultants who were all branding ourselves as kind of being against the status quo and doing things differently, but actually our messages were so, so similar and I’m like, wait, are we doing things differently?”

She had to take time to pause and ask herself, “if you were actually challenging the status quo, what are the things that you would maybe take a little bit more of a risk to say or to do, instead of just making that the brand.”

Based on that period of reflection, Brooke says she now defines being a disruptor as being someone who not only recognizes that systems aren’t working, and is willing to do the difficult work of creating something better or offering solutions.

It also means accepting that you will get critical feedback of what you are offering as an alternative to the status quo.

“To me, being a disruptor is about being very intentional about, what is your goal here? What are your values? What do you want to move forward or advance? And then actually trying to create something where we can do that.”

Be Clear On Who You’re Calling In

For Brooke, doing things differently also means being intentional about and clear on who your audience is.

For example, she says if you’re going to label yourself as trauma-informed, you are going to attract people into your offerings who have experienced trauma.

“So now you have more of a responsibility because now you have people in your orbit who come from some trauma…So then when you use the platform that you have to basically just kind of yell at the people who you disagree with, like, this is not trauma-informed.”

She says that in her business, she intentionally wants to draw in people who have ideas and want to be in business for themselves, but think they aren’t cut out for it.

“So I need to understand that if I’m gonna call people into the conversation who think they’re not cut out for business, I need to be very clear that I’m talking to those people when I show up on any of my platforms and not use it to just yell at people who I’m angry at. I need to start processing my anger elsewhere, or if I am going to put it out there and have the conversation, be very clear bout who I’m talking to.”

She is also working on leaving space for nuance and for solutions and tools that are not one-size-fits-all when she creates containers for her clients, and creating space for feedback.

There is “lots of listening to the people who are in my spaces to understand, what do they need, what do they want, what is helpful. And also implementing things–that were certainly not my idea–like anonymous channels to give me feedback and hold me accountable to the values that I say I stand for,” including having community agreements and allowing people to suggest edits to those agreements as needed.

India says that often when people are looking for a coach, consultant, or strategist, there is a lot of emphasis on “here’s the concrete framework, here’s step by step what we’re going to do,” but there’s value in Brooke’s approach to “leave room to see what presents itself, because each client is an individual human…And when we have this exact way of doing things all the time, it may not be the most equitable way to do it.”

In the live chat, Erica Courdae comments on Brooke’s point about being clear on who your audience is, especially when you’re yelling on social media about what not to do.

Brooke says “It works well for getting likes and getting comments on social media…but is it gonna make people trust you as somebody who can actually show them a different way of doing things?”

India adds, “There’s a difference between gaining attention and actually creating impact.”

India says that goes for adding labels like “trauma-informed” to your social media profiles as well. “Are you actually changing your practice to support that?”

Brooke says that label has become so overused and that there are too many people “saying they were trauma-informed, but actually their platform was just about talking about practices that were not trauma-informed…They were doing, let me take what I learned and then try to teach you how to do it in your business,” as opposed to coaching from a trauma-informed perspective.

She continues, “I think the intentions are good. I think this is mostly coming from people who really, genuinely care, but don’t understand that if you’re not super intentional about what you’re doing, you end up replicating the same system that you say that you are against.”

Beyond Labels to Integration and Action

India says that signaling your values without taking intentional action by using labels like “trauma-informed” or “woke,” can feel like a branding decision rather than a real commitment to creating change.

“While our intentions may be good, I do wonder if sometimes a bit of how the marketing and branding industry can train these online businesses to operate is very predatory,” in the sense that “the more you have a label, the more you can say this thing, it can pull in the customer, it can target the right people.”

Brooke agrees and says that it can be “the same structure and it’s just in different clothes. It’s dressed up to look…alternative or to look disruptive, and then you realize, oh, it’s actually a lot harder to untangle this stuff than just saying you’re against it.”

India says integration and action are key. For example, she says that a major piece of integrating a trauma-informed practice is recognizing that consent matters and integrating that into how you approach working with your clients.

Brooke says it’s also important to recognize that what may be helpful or unhelpful to you, doesn’t mean those same things or approaches will be helpful or unhelpful to your clients. She gives the example of some money mindset work that is super unhelpful for her personally, based on her experiences and her nervous system, but she understands that those pieces may be helpful to others.

She says it can feel like there is a push for there to be one correct way to do things, “and the more that we kind of move towards this one right way, actually the less helpful it is for different groups of people. We have to have lots of different solutions.”

She continues, “You can always give a case for why something is gonna be unhelpful for somebody, but it then leaves people who could use that with nothing, you know?”

India adds that “many of us are trying to create change in a system that we’re actively a part of, and that in itself is complex. But I think it starts with being honest about that. It starts with being open and having open conversations about that because conversations can lead to some very creative solutions to challenges that we’re all facing…There's always something new to learn to inform how you decide what actions you're gonna take going forward.”

Start the Conversation with Your Community

India notes that as you are evolving personally and in your business, the people on your team or that you have attracted to your business are on a journey with you, and wonders how much of a role that evolution needs to play in how you communicate and integrate your values in your brand if you are being a responsible disruptor.

Brooke says that “there’s the business journey and then underneath that there’s the personal stuff that’s happening, business is such a personal development effort…and I think you have to wrestle with that, and I don’t think that it’s an easy transition.”

She continues that part of the problem can be that we want there to be a clear-cut way to move forward but making those shifts will be different for everyone and it can be complicated to figure out how it impacts your business and your brand. She also notes that sometimes shifts that seem major to ourselves won’t be perceived as such a huge departure by others.

But she says it’s important to include people in your community in the conversations you’re having internally about how you’re evolving. “Having the conversations is all that you can really do to explore how things are going to evolve for you…talking about it, rather than just having it in your own mind and spinning out over it, that’s what’s gonna allow you to see a way forward.”

She also notes that you will lose some people as you iterate your business, but that’s not something to be scared of or that should keep you from evolving.

“People get to make their own decisions and find the people whose messages are resonant for them at the time. And if you are speaking the truth, then new people are gonna find you as well. You’ll become that person that other people need to hear from.”

India agrees that it’s important to remember that gaining and losing people from your orbit is a normal part of being in business.

“If you can find even the smallest ways to start, if you haven’t already, sharing your ideas, sharing your values, sharing what’s important to you, the sooner the better. Because you’re constantly losing and gaining people, and trust takes time, so why not begin that process sooner than later?”

Be Intentional With Your Messaging

Brooke says that most people who label themselves as a disruptor or being against the status quo, whether they’re taking concrete action or not, are coming from a place of wanting to help people whose needs haven’t been met or who have otherwise been underserved. And it’s essential to remember that those are the people you’re attracting to your business.

“Everything that you do, everything that you put out there, those are the people it’s landing on…If you’re gonna rail against something in your industry, those people who are doing that probably are not listening to you,” so we need to be mindful of who our audience actually is and how our messaging impacts them.

“Put some intentionality into what you’re going to share and what those people need to hear that day. I think that self-expression is so important and I think that sharing your truth is so important. And I also know that once you have attracted people into your orbit, you can’t just be responding from or reacting all the time.”

She continues that if you are going to get worked up about or vent about something, it’s important to be responsible about it and provide appropriate context.

She goes back to the issue of people who label themselves as trauma-informed who then spend all of their time highlighting practices that aren’t trauma-informed and how that can actually be triggering and traumatizing in itself to have a constant stream of messages about everything you could be doing wrong, or might have done wrong.

And that kind of messaging can actually lead to inaction for your audience, because they are so scared of doing something wrong.

“You’ve gotta acknowledge who’s hearing you and when you are just reacting from your own triggers all the time, the way that that’s going to impact other people…Are you leaving people better off than they found you? Or did they just finish listening to you and now they’re scared they don’t know what to do?”

She says it’s also important to distinguish between having an open-ended conversation and asking questions, and playing the role of an authority figure and telling people in a definitive way what’s right and what’s wrong.

India agrees and says that one way that she’s witnessed Brooke trying to counter that definitive messaging from an authority figure is that when she points out challenges for discussion, she also leaves people with some tangible things to consider doing about it, versus just discussing what’s wrong. Giving people tangible action items is also something India does in her content.

“No one is immune to leaving someone in something without realizing that. And I think the more that we can talk about these kinds of things honestly, and realize we all have our work to do, the more that we’re willing to reflet on that and to actually to take the actions to create change.”

Brooke adds that this is a process, and coming up with solutions rather than just pointing out what’s wrong takes time.

“If it feels like you’re constantly wrestling with the same stuff, I just think that that’s a part of it, having to come back to the same stuff over and over again. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

Take Stock of Your Follows

Brooke suggests that one way to take action is to take stock of the voices you’ve surrounded yourself with, “because that’s what you’re gonna try to fit in with.”

So consider if the voices around you are helping and supporting you.

“Let’s have the tough conversions and the important conversations, but also make sure that you feel safe in whatever group you’re in to create something more beautiful and put it out there and show it to people…And if they are not helpful for you in actually being creative and bringing your ideas to life, then maybe it’s time to do a little bit of editing of the follow list.”

Connect With Brooke Monaghan:

Resources:

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This conversation with Brooke Monaghan was a live event within The Pause on the Play® Community. As part of our commitment to accessibility for our global membership, all of our events allow members to submit questions ahead of time, and all events are recorded and replays are available 24/7 as part of our resource library.

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